So where did I leave off last?? Oh yes, the cementery! So, those of you who know me know that I really like cementeries ever since Peace Corps when I would spend many days in them hanging out flying kites and eating fiambre and pupusas with friends and host families in celebration of Día de Los Muertos. So, naturally, a visit to any town's cementery is going to be high on my list.
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| Church & Cementery |
When we got there the radio dude (whose name escapes me right now...I think Juan or Julio or something, dammit!) took down my information--my name, my former name, my birthdate, and the supposed name of my mother. He said he'd make the annoucement around 5pm and would make it several times until the early evening. So we sat around chatting with him and Jorge Alexander, who bought us an Aguila Light (beer). Afterward, Jeni and I headed back to the hotel to rest for a bit.
A few hours later we get a knock on our door and it was Jorge saying he had run into a woman who thinks she remembers me from when I was staying with another family from the town. She had told him that she remembers my biological mother and also when I had been adopted. So of course I wanted to meet this woman because I also have wanted to get to know the family that I was given to right after birth and who took care of me before my adoptive parents came. So Jorge took us to go meet her and her husband at a bar in the town center. The woman's name was Mercedes and her husband was Ricardo and she apparently is related to the family who took care of me (whose last name is Soler). She confirmed the story that a deaf-mute was my primary caregiver in that family and apparently she is still alive and lives in Bucaramanga (so gotta get back to B/manga soon!). We hung out with them for a while, talking about all kinds of things, including the possibility of heading out to the family's finca a few minutes outside of town. So when we said goodbye later that evening we had decided to go out to the finca with them early the following morning (at like 5am--ugh!).
Five o'clock on July 20 (Independence Day!) rolls around and neither Jeni nor I were up to getting on a bus so we decided to sleep in and call Mercedes later to see how we could take a later bus to the finca. So we went back to sleep. At 7:30am my phone rings and it's the guy from the radio station. In my half asleep state I answer with a meak "Hola?" and he responds with "I have good news. We have found your mother. She is here. Can you come now or set up a place to meet?" Of course, my sleepy mind could not comprehend what was going and I could not believe the words I was hearing but I managed to mutter that I would be there in 20 minutes or so. So I flew out of bed, showered and dressed in record time and was at the radio station maybe 25-30 minutes later.
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| Posing with my biological mother and niece |
The second I walked in, I saw a short, dark-haired, brown-skinned woman sitting with a lighter-skined little girl. I said my name was Alexandra but formerly known as Yacqueline and she stood up and came towards me with tears in her eyes and said "Mija? Eres tu?" (My daughter, is that you?). And she put her hands on my cheeks and in my hair and just started crying. The radio dude looked rather teary eyed as well. He offered us a seat to sit down and talk. I honestly had no words to say. It was like the wind was knocked out of me. We both (plus the girl) sat there just staring at each other for a good while. I think she was the first to speak. She asked me why I was there, how I knew about her, how I found her, how my life had been, what was I doing and where was I living, etc. And she would not stop touching my face. She said the little girl with her was Maryury Valentina, one of my nieces. And she told me I had an older brother--Juan Pablo--who will be 31 this September, a 26-year-old sister Yane, a 21-year old sister Martha (Maryury's mother) and a 19 year-old sister Flor. She told me that just two days earlier she had been telling Martha about me again, about why she had given me away (economic reasons) and that although she didn't think she'd ever see me again, she had never given up hope. I said the same. It's true...although I never imagined I would ever meet her, I never truly gave up hope. And I did end up meeting her in less than 24 hours after starting the whole process!! Wow. The local priest came by to give us a blessing and then the radio guy interviewed me asking how I felt about the whole situation, how I had come to Mogotes, how my life has been in the States, etc (so now I'm a local radio star, jajaja!). And then we left together.
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| My mother's house in the campo |
So my mother's name is Rosa Delia Murillo Garcia. Yes there is a name discrepancy but she says it's because when she gave birth to me she did not have a cédula (hence the cédula number on my birth certificate not being a match) and she had decided to alter her middle name. Okay. She's also 51/52 years old (sounds about right since my birth certificate said she was 22 in 1983 when she had me). When we left the emisora I invited her to eat breakfast with Jeni and me since we hadn't eaten yet. So we ate and chatted here and there and in the middle of breakfast she starting crying again saying "Perdoneme" (forgive me) for having given me away and explained again that it was for economic reasons (I knew this). She also said that she works at a school out in the campo (about 25-30 minutes away) serving snacks to the kids, a job that earns her around COP$40,000 a week (US$22). So, yes, she is still very poor. She invited Jeni and I to spend the afternoon out in the campo at her house, so of course we said yes. However, it being Independence Day and all, there were fewer buses than normal and since we had missed the 9am bus, we had to wait for the 12 noon one. So we hung out in the park and on the corner waiting for the bus. We talked. We were silent. We talked. We were silent. It was very weird but good all at once. Finally noon rolled around and about 25 or so minutes later we were at her house which is located right off the main San Gil-Mogotes road.
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| Freshly killed chicken=lunch! |
Her house is far from fancy. It reminded me so much of my Guatemalan best friend Flor's house in San Luis--very humble. No doors, a wood stove in the kitchen, pila out back, not much furniture, and no appliances except for a blender and maybe an old tv (she most likely does not have cable). Shortly after we arrived, Rosa Delia went down the road to purchase some things for lunch. Jeni and I kept little Maryury entertained (or rather, vice versa) while she was gone. About 15 minutes later Rosa comes back with a live, squaking chiken under one arm and a huge megalitro of Postobon in the other (a national soft drink which I find rather disgusting). A few minutes later we watched as she broke the chicken's neck and hung it on a post in the back patio. I had seen this many times in Guatemala but it never ceases to amaze me! Anywho, so while lunch was being prepared, Jeni and I taught little Maryury how to play Uno and downed several glasses of Postobon (yay. gulp). She quickly became a pro and beat us 3 times in a row. Lunch was delicious and afterwards Rosa took us down to her neighbor's house, the one who had apparently told her about the radio annoucement since Rosa does not have a working radio in the house. Her neighbor offered us tinto and asked me about how my life has been etc. Then we walked further down the road (towards Mogotes) to the house where my grandmother, Blanca Maria, had lived (she died in 2002) and where supposedly my mother was living when she was pregnant with me. The house now belongs to another family and is being renovated but it was nice to see the house where I could have lived. The backyard had lots of lulo trees (one of my favorite fruits here) and what looked like many acres of farmland surrounding it.
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| Maryury and Rosa Delia |
After visiting the neighbor and my grandmother's house we went back to Rosa's house and played Uno for a a bit while waiting for the bus back to Mogotes. Maryury and Rosa won several times, becoming instant pros! I think they both really enjoyed the game. We sat around chatting for a while too until it was time for Jeni and I to catch the last bus back in to town. Well, since it was a holiday we already knew the bus schedule wasn't 100% reliable but we had asked back in Mogotes when the last bus from San Gil would leave and she had said around 6pm so we were out on the road at 5:50 just to be safe. Six o'clock rolled around and no bus. We walked up to a neighbor's house on the bend and still no bus. 6:15 rolled around and no bus. 6:30 and no bus. It was nearing seven and it was pouring down rain and Jeni and I were freaking out. I had done Peace Corps so I wasn't totally opposed to having to sleep in the campo but 1) I had just met this woman, 2) we had already paid for another night in the hotel and 3) it was colder out in the campo! So to be on the safe side, Jeni and I began hailing down anything that would pass by. We finally managed to stop a truck that transports animals so we climbed in to the back area where 4 adolescent boys were also hitching a ride. My mother and I said our goodbyes (of course not before exchanging phone numbers and the information of my siblings and other relatives) and Jeni and I hopped onto the bed of the truck. After a harrowing 30 minutes flying down the road in pitch black night and pouring rain, hanging on for dear life to the rollbars ahead of us while feeling the wheels slip underneath us (wouldn't it have been poetic justice if I were do die in an accident immediately following meeting my biological family?), we made it safely back to Mogotes (and we didn't have to pay a cent for the ride!) and shortly afterwards fell asleep.
Saturday around noon we started our journey back to Bogotá. I would have liked to stay longer especially after the circumstances but my funds were running low and there was lots to do back in the city. Overall the trip was very fullfilling and exciting. I never did hear back from Mercedes and her husband, nor the Registraduría lady, but I know I will be back soon enough and will have time to forge deeper relationships with that family as well as my own. At the moment all I can say is that I am still shocked and stunned that it appears that I have found my biological family so quickly. A part of me, however, is still very wary and I would like to eventually get a DNA test or something done. But it is exciting to know that I have 4 sibilings (technically they are half siblings since I don't share a father with either of them), several aunts & uncles, cousins, and nieces/nephews. Unfortuntely I have no surviving grandparents and my father apparently was an alcoholic and died about 3 months ago. His side of the family as well as my mother's have been calling me non-stop since I've been back in Bogota so it is all very overwhelming! I hope to be going back at the end of August since there is supposedly another puente weekend but I am not sure if I will have the time off yet. Regardless, I will try to take a day off anyways to make the trip out there since Rosa's birthday is around that time.
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| Teaching my niece how to play Uno |
So it looks like I will be staying longer, folks. Sorry to those who expected me back in the States sooner rather than later, but I am truly enjoying my time here now that I've been able to travel a bunch and am making wonderful new relationships. I do plan on going home for Christmas, so to those in Cali (the US one) let's make plans! My next Colombian trips include going back to Mogotes and Bucaramanga, and also hopefully a trip to Cartagena at some point. After a rocky first few months back at the end of last year, I think I've finally begun to feel at home and more settled here. I still have a love-hate relationship with Bogotá and now that I've seen such marvelous cities as Cali and Medellín, I really think I could pass more time here. Not to mention my incredible support system of friends here--both Colombian and American alike. I'm still at Montessori for the time being and at the end of this month Jeni and I will be moving afterall to the apartment we thought we would be moving to at the end of June. It all worked out! The new place will be a bit smaller (no balcony, boo!) but a LOT cheaper and much more convenient for both of us to get to our places of work. And we'll also be in the same complex as our close friends Adry and Mike. I am looking forward to what the rest of 2012 will bring!
At this time I really want to thank my parents for their ongoing love and support. Without you guys I wouldn't even be here today (and that has been made all that much clearer to me now that I've been back to where it all began). I love you two more than the world itself! Thank you so much!
So this upcoming weekend is a puente so I'm heading back to Mogotes on Friday. My sister Yane and Uncle Miguel have been calling me non-stop to ask if I'm coming because apparently a bunch of my extended family is going just to see me, so I guess I have no choice, jaja!
Stay tuned for more updates and pictures on Facebook! Feliz noche :-)
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