Hello again, cyberfriends! It's been quite a bit of time since my last post, no? Well, I figured with the end of the year approaching I would take a few moments to reflect back on the last 12 months. It has truly been one, if not THE most, incredibly life-changing year of my life. First of all, being back in Colombia has been a very emotional rollercoaster, pretty much since Day 1, but now even more so since I've been back to my birthtown and have met my biological family (even though that has yet to be confirmed by DNA testing, which is one of my goals for 2013). The experience of knowing them has made me even more grateful for the wonderful life I've been blessed to have and has made me much more aware that none of this would have been possible if it were not for the combination of my biological mother's act of giving me up (out of love, knowing she could not take care of me) and for the extraordinary feat of my adoptive parents coming all the way down there to scoop me up. I am so very fortunate! Of course, I feel much more connected to my adoptive parents because they are who raised me and who have loved me unconditionally for all of these years. They are my parents and will always be. I know my trip back to my roots would not have been possible without their support. They are the world to me and I love them more than they will ever know.
In addition to the extraordinary experience of getting back in touch with my roots, I've had a tremendously transformative year spiritually. Although I've been majorly slacking on my meditation, I've had some truly profound emotional and spiritual moments, too beautifully dificult to describe in a blog post using such a clumsy form of communication as is written language. What I will say is that I've had some truly amazing moments of synchroncity, some life-altering moments of enlightenment and wisdom, and the glorious feelings of love and peace flow into my being. One of my personal goals for 2013 is to really get back into a serious meditation regime and to begin yoga, since I know my physical body desperately needs this, and my spiritual self, of course, can only progress even further with this practice. I owe quite a bit of this spiritual transformation to several extraordinary people I've met over the last year or so. Even though at times they drive me absolutely crazy, they have challenged me in more ways than I have ever known. You know who you are and I appreciate you so much!
Finally, I will end with what has been probably the most challenging, but at the same time, most amazingly beautiful things to happen not only in the last 12 months, but probably in my entire life. I have entered into what has been probably one of the best (if not the best) relationships of my existence. I have met someone so completely beyond what I ever expected or imagined to meet. Someone who (as I mentioned above) has challenged my every thought and feeling, who has made me rethink everything I ever knew (or thought I knew) about love and relationships and life. Someone who knows me better than I know myself, who calls me on my bullshit, but who I know, still accepts me and supports me through my own personal journey. And this is someone for whom I do the same. Someone who I feel I've known forever, a best friend, a life-coach...someone far from perfect but who is learning right along with me. We learn together and grow together. But this is someone who I never in a million years believed I could love, be in love with, or even share my most personal thoughts and feelings with, and all because of one stupid, meaningless thing called gender. Yes, this incredible person who I am with happens to be a woman. Shocking I know for many who know me...but maybe not all that shocking, after all. Love is love. End of story. My more powerful moments of enlightenment as mentioned briefly above have showed me that it doesn't matter at all. As humans we are capable of loving anybody, regardless of all the silly labels society places on us, if one is truly and fully open to love in all its amazing forms. I've truly loved and learned so much with my relationships with men and I know this will be no different. We all are of the same glorious matter, molecules, atoms, etc. So yes, I am in love with a woman. It's crazy, it's new, it's insane, perhaps, and I question it everyday. But I am happy. And I've never been more happy.
So, all in all it's been a wonderful year. A year full of ups and downs just like any other. A year in which I still have questioned my purpose on this earth, questioned whether or not I'm fullfulling my mission with regards to my work, my relationships, etc. In the end I know I am fullfilling at least one thing--the ability to truly love myself and love others. I have never felt it more in my life-from my friends, from my family, from all. And I know 2013 will also be an incredible year. It can only get better! The world didn't end (SHOCKING! (note the sarcasm please) LOL) but my world did (at least the one I knew), and a new and better one is forming. I feel an incredible transformative energy in the air and all around me. So with that I wish to all of you a very happy new year, filled with peace and love for you and those you hold dear. May all your deepest wishes and most valued dreams come true. Send love and light out in the world and in all that you do and everything else will fall into place. That is all that really matters in the end!
Peace!
No comments:
Post a Comment